turn your heart around
by lauraxtennant
Summary: Set during s2ep5, and in the same world as my previous Broadchurch fics, faulty heart & lonely hearts club.


"You shouldn't have bothered, doing all this all night. You need your sleep."

"Can't sleep anyway." She glanced down at herself. "Could do with a shower, though - I'll head back to the flat before court, get sorted."

Hardy nodded towards the bathroom. "Use mine if you like."

Ellie raised her eyebrows.

"What?" he said, sniffing. "I'll watch - " He waved at her son vaguely then met her eye. "- Fred, you take a shower."

"Ha, you remembered his name. Well done. Anyway, you sure?"

Rolling his eyes, Hardy sat down on the sofa. "Go on. You've already used up all my food and drink, might as well use up the hot water, too."

Ellie laughed, but gave in, and wandered towards his bathroom. "Do you have any clean towels?" she called out.

"In the cupboard," he replied. He looked at Fred. "She'll find them. She's good at poking her nose into people's things, your Mum."

"I heard that!"

He smiled.

::

When Ellie came back into the living room, Hardy looked up from his spot on the floor beside Fred, who was staring at him agog.

"Oh god, what have you been doing with him? He looks terrified," Ellie said, drying her hair with a towel.

"I'll have you know he was very interested in my retelling of 'Where's My Teddy?'" He held up the book in question.

"Why've you got that?" she snorted.

He stood, placing the book on the coffee table. "It was Daisy's favourite when she was wee. It's the only thing I really got to keep of hers, from her childhood. I don't know. It's daft." He rubbed at the back of his neck, averting his eyes.

"No. It's sweet," she said. She put the towel she'd been using over the back of a chair, and stepped over to Fred, picking him up.

Hardy watched her for a moment, thinking about the other night. "You said that before."

"What?"

He tilted his head, trying to sound non-committal. "The 'sweet' thing."

"Oh. Yeah." She bounced Fred a bit, settling him on her hip. "We never really talked about that night, did we."

"Didn't think you wanted to. You didn't bring it up."

She met his gaze steadily. "You kissed me."

"I shouldn't have," he replied softly. "You were upset." He shifted his weight from foot to foot awkwardly. "I'm sorry." When she smiled at him in response, it looked like she was the holder of a secret, the teller of some joke he hadn't heard. "What?" he demanded, feeling a bit agitated.

She walked over to where she'd put Fred's pram, and loaded him into it. "Nothing."

"Right."

"It's just, it was nice." She straightened up, and looked over at him again. "Never would have pegged you for a good kisser."

To his frustration, he felt his cheeks heat up. "Er."

"So what happens next?" she said, folding her arms, still with that infuriating smile on her face. "You gonna take me on a date on the dodgems?"

His eyes widened, his heart thudding in panic. "What?"

"I'm joking, you idiot." She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Come on, let's go get you a cuppa from the cafe. You look like you need it."

::

As they strolled along, Hardy sipping at his tea, Ellie started on about her Sandbrook theories. It was great, it really was, having someone to talk to about it, to bounce ideas off of, to take an objective look at the case he'd previously bollocksed up. But it worried him, too. Her keen interest in solving the case, apart from any inherent Ellie Miller detective-ness, was clearly primarily a distraction tactic. He'd buried himself in solving Danny Latimer's murder in a similar fashion. He didn't want Ellie ending up like him.

Still, she sounded so much lighter, even in spite of the grim topic they were discussing. It was like she'd taken on a new lease of life, with this project. He just hoped it didn't all come crashing down around their ears.

Her world had been torn apart too much already. He didn't want to be responsible for any part in destroying her life even more. He'd meant what he said, the other day. She deserved to be happy, to move on. Of course she did. It was selfish of him to have tied her to this case. To him. Especially as he wasn't doing too well, on the health side. What if he ended up abandoning her too, just like everyone else?

She paused in their walk, doing up her coat more firmly against the cold bite of the sea breeze, and levelled him with a suspicious look. "You all right?"

"Aye." She just stood there, so he took over pushing the pram, ignoring her bemused expression.

"Hardy, about that kiss - "

"It's all right, you don't have to…I know."

"Know what?"

"That it's not what you want, or remotely what you need right now."

She let out a bark of laughter. "Well, it's not something I anticipated. Thought you hated me for a good long while. You being a bloody wanker to me and all that."

He looked at her, frowning. "I've never hated you."

"Still. You have to admit, bit of a turn around."

"Not for me."

"Right, forgot, you're grumpy to everyone."

"Miller, just drop it."

"I don't want to drop it. Look, it's not something I can handle right now, that's true. I need to get all this over with first. The trial, at least. But maybe, I don't know." She laughed again. "God, I sound ridiculous. Never thought this would happen." Clearing her throat, she continued, "But, if, when all this is done…"

He glanced at her. "Really?" He knew he sounded shocked, but he couldn't modify his tone in time. Knew he sounded hopeful, too, and that was even worse. She'd think he was some pining idiot or something.

"Mmm. We can just see how it goes, yeah?" She nudged him with her elbow.

"All right." He fought against the smile coming to his face, and muttered, "Hopefully the fair will be gone by then, and you won't expect me to take you out for candyfloss and carousel rides."

Ellie laughed, again, and it made him feel lighter, even after his disastrous night. He should tell her, he knew that - tell her just how ill he was, how he might not even be around much longer if he didn't get his operation bloody soon. But he couldn't. She was a bit hyper after staying up all night, running on caffeine, he knew that, but underneath that reason for her current happy mood was something he was tentatively calling healing in his head. He wasn't about to burst her bubble.

::

Later, once Lucy had left after dropping the bombshell about Tom testifying for Joe, Hardy felt helpless. He reached out to Ellie but she flinched away from his touch, and he stood awkwardly beside her, staring out at the water, for a minute or so. Then, abruptly, she turned around and stalked inside, over to Fred.

Hardy ran his hand over his face tiredly. Another spanner thrown into the works. She'd never done anything wrong in her life, he'd bet his dodgy heart on it. It was cruel, the way everything kept spiralling out of control for her.

He walked the few steps over to the door, and leant against the frame, peering inside at her. She'd valiantly put a smile on her face for little Fred, but her eyes had lost so much of the light he'd seen in them earlier. Still, when she raised her head to look at Hardy, he saw a determination there. He couldn't help but smile.

She was looking at him like she was gonna take on the world, and win.

Hardy quite felt like he believed her.


End file.
